Bertram Daniel

(Reproduced for your reading pleasure and learning)

Does the idea of standing in front of a mirror and appreciating your positive qualities feel uncomfortable and stupid? It did to me-which was a sign that I really needed to try it.
I first learned this mirror exercise in 1990, when I took a week-long course from my mentor, Jack Canfield, on self-esteem. Jack assigned the exercise as homework every night, saying, “Make sure you do this behind a closed door so nobody walks by and thinks you’re crazy.” Each night my roommate and I took turns going into the bathroom, shutting the door, and whispering sweet nothings to our reflections: “You’re kind.” “You’re loyal.” “You have a loving heart.”
The first night, I felt like a California New Age woo-woo nutcase, but soon I experienced a rush of sadness; I was such an expert at judging myself-why was it so hard to say nice things?
With practice, it gradually became easier to list reasons to love myself: “You’re smart.” “You go out of your way to help others.” And so on. But the real power of this exercise came when I learned to express appreciation for myself for no reason-to look myself in the eye and simply love who I was, unconditionally.
If you’re like most people, consciously recognizing the positive about yourself may feel conceited. After all, we’re raised not to “toot our own horns.” So we end up not giving ourselves credit or acknowledgment or even worse, beating ourselves up, which shuts down our hearts, contracts our energy, and decreases our happiness levels.
Doing the research for my book Happy for No Reason, I interviewed scores of scientists along with one hundred unconditionally happy people (I call them the Happy 100). One of the things I discovered is that truly happy people have a compassionate, encouraging, and validating att­­­­itude toward themselves. This isn’t arrogance or self-centeredness; it’s an appreciation and acceptance of who they are.
Learning to see the positive about yourself starts by changing your brain’s habit of focusing on your negative experiences and instead inclining your mind toward joy.
So today, begin registering your happy experiences more deeply– consciously look for them. You can make it a game you play with yourself. Have the intention to notice everything good that happens to you: anything you see, feel, taste, hear or smell that brings you joy, a “win” you experience, a breakthrough, an a-ha, or an expression of your creativity-the list goes on and on.
This intention triggers the reticular activating system (RAS), a group of cells at the base of your brain stem responsible for sorting through the massive amounts of incoming information and bringing anything important to your attention. Have you ever bought a car and then suddenly starting noticing the same make of car everywhere? It’s the RAS at work. Now you can use it to be happier. When you decide to look for the positive, your RAS makes sure that’s what you see.
Adelle, one of the Happy 100, told me about a unique method she has for registering the positive. As she goes about her day, she gives away awards in her mind: the best-behaved dog award, the most colourful landscape design at a fast food drive-through award, the most courteous driver award. This keeps her alert to the beauty and positivity that is all around her. Charmed by this idea, I tried it myself. I liked it so much, I’ve been giving out these “Happiness Oscars,” as I call them, ever since.
Once you notice something positive, take a moment to savour it consciously. Take the good experience in deeply and feel it; make it more than just a mental observation. If possible, spend around 30 seconds, soaking up the happiness you feel. If you want to accelerate your progress, take time every day to write down a few of your wins, breakthroughs, and things you appreciate about others-and about yourself.
You’ll know you’ve really mastered this when you can give yourself an Academy Award-for outstanding achievement in true happiness!
Marci Shimoff
Based on the New York Times bestseller Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out, which offers a revolutionary approach to experiencing deep and lasting happiness. The woman’s face of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and a featured teacher in The Secret, Marci is an authority on success, happiness, and the law of attraction. To order Happy for No Reason, newly released in paperback, and receive free bonus gifts, go to www.happyfornoreason.com/mybook

Someone said to me recently ”this isn’t working for me”.

This statement has a presupposition built into it -

the presupposition is that ”it” had to ”work” for ”them”.

Not possible.

The truth is, with everything we do, we work it, not the other way around. This is the framework of 100% responsibility for our results and our non-results.

Rather than externalising what “caused” something to not work – keep it within you – you are the cause for the results you are getting. What you may choose to consider -

1. Nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it – “it” not working is a meaning, not a truth – it can’t be anything more than an interpretation you are bringing to the event

2. The quality of your life will improve the moment you own point 1

3. Decide before the event the meaning you will give it

4. If you don’t like how something is going, either change your beliefs, change your strategy or raise your standards – success is only a heartbeat away

5. Take 100% responsibility for how you “feel” about something – and if you know NLP you know how to change this feeling in a moment!

6. Look for patterns in what you like & dislike and determine if those choices serve you or hinder you and the outcomes you want

7. If your patterns hinder you, & you still do them, what is the secondary gain? What do you get out of that pattern?

8. Give up your stories about why things are the way they are, why you feel the way you do, what works & what doesn’t – it’s all unfolding exactly the way you want it to

9. If Point 8 pushed a button, go to Point 7

Warmest Regards,

Bertram

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After my morning meditation today I picked up Wayne Dyer’s book ‘Ten secrets for success and inner peace’ (which by the way is a brilliant book) and what I read I thought I would share it with you.

Suppose you had a choice between two magic wands. With Wand A, you can have any physical thing you desire by simply waving it. With Wand B, you can have a sense of peace for the rest of their life regardless of what circumstances arise. Which would you pick? A guarantee of stuff, or inner piece for the remainder of your life? If you opt for peace, then you already have Wand B. Simply have a mind that is open to everything but attached to nothing. Let it all come and go as it were. Enjoy it all, but never make your happiness or success dependent on an attachment to anything, any place, and particularly, any person.

I hope you enjoyed that.

Namaste

Bertram

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Today I did something totally out of the ordinary and sat down and watched a TV show. In fact I had it in my diary and I even cancelled a networking opportunity to do so.

So what made me do something so unusual? It was nothing but a foray into nostalgia. I looked up the Wiki definition of the word nostalgia and it said:

‘The term nostalgia describes a longing for the past, often in idealized form. In common, less clinical usage, nostalgia includes a general interest in past eras and their personalities and events, especially the “good old days” of a few generations back recast in an idyllic light.’

I think that that describes the show ‘Hey Hey it’s Saturday’ and I was so glad that I did watch it. I sat there and laughed and cried and relaxed watching a whole bunch of people having a good time – taking me along for the ride. They were not scripted and over produced they just had fun.

At the same time I lamented for the fact that programs like this did not exist anymore, because today we are bombarded by a brand of TV that is run by bean-counters and analysts and such like after sampling, testing, and doing focus groups. What happened to spontaneity?

The other reason I watched the show was it took me back to a time when I would sit with my wife and beautiful children and watch Daryl and Ossie and feel that beautiful sense of family. Aah, to have that time again. C’mon Bertram you’re just being nostalgic!

Cheers

Bertram

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I have long pondered how the Universe works. I understand that we are all one and connected, but what I did not quite understand was how!

Today I got it. I have long been amazed at how I could send a text message halfway around the world or pick up my mobile phone and call someone anywhere. It dawned on me that if the phone call or the text messages, which are nothing but electromagnetic carrier waves transported on superimposed electromagnetic light-wave/particles and transported at the speed of light around the world, then my mind and my thoughts which are also electromagnetic light wave particles could do the same. As they say thoughts are vibrations and we are vibrationary beings.

Aha! So when I have a thought it is in actual fact flying all around the world and can be picked up by others, like someone answering a phone call. So it should not be a surprise that when I think of someone that they should call me or at least think of me at the same time. It would also follow that my thoughts could also create my reality, by bringing me what I thought about. So, this is how the Law of Attraction works.

In addition, when I meet someone and have a feeling about them all I am doing is picking up on their thoughts/vibrations. I’m sure you have heard people say that they liked someone as soon as they met them, but they did not know why. They were at the same vibration.

One of my favorite bits of writing has always been the narration by Sir Laurence Olivier from the musical called ‘Time.’ I now know why I loved it so much, because it is at the very foundation of how my life will be. Here is a small part of it:

Throughout the Universe there is order.
In the movement of the planets, in nature
and in the functioning of the human mind.
A mind that in its natural state of order is in
harmony with the universe and such a mind is timeless.
Your life is an expression of your mind.
You are a creator of your own universe
For as a human being you are free to will whatever
state of being you desire through the use of your thoughts
and words.
There is great power there. It can be a blessing or a curse
it is entirely up to you.

So think long and hard about what your thoughts are composed of. If you truly want to change your world, my friends, you must change your thinking.

Namaste

Bertram

Today being Grand Final Day I thought I would catch people at home watching the footy and I knocked on doors in my apartment block collecting donations for the Heart Foundation and I had some interesting and varied experiences. I got to meet some people who had lived here for over a year and never met, I was invited in to celebrate a sixtieth birthday, I chatted to some while they rummaged around for some money and I was shooed away by some. What I could not help but think was that here I was connecting with a micro community which is part of a larger macro community, which is part of a total community.

One of my heroes is Mahatma Ghandi who said: “Be the change you want to see in the world.” So I thought I might start a newsletter for the apartment block and get a connection happening between the people who live in close proximity to each other and yet do not really connect with each other. I was lucky to meet one happy dweller that I shared my thoughts with and she was pro the idea and being a graphic designer offered me her assistance. So with this encouragement I will venture forth to create a newsletter for my apartment block. Maybe I can call it ‘On the Block’!

I will keep you posted.

Namaste

Bertram